Most men and women select partners for long-term relationship through a fairly predictable process, although they may not be consciously aware of it. Most people pair with someone who lives in the same geographic area and who is similar in ethnic and socioeconomic background, educational level, life style, physical attractiveness, and other traits. In simple terms, people select partners like themselves.
First attraction is based on easily observable characteristics; looks, dress, social status, and reciprocated interest. Once a euphoria of romantic love wind s down , personality traits and behaviors become more significant factors in how the partners view each other. Through sharing and self-disclosure, they gradually get a deeper knowledge of each other. The emphasis shift to the basic values , religious beliefs, political affiliation,, sexual attitudes and future aspirations regarding career, family and children. If they are incompatible, many people gradually discover deeper, more enduring forms of love.
Perhaps most important question for potential mates is, How much do we have in common? Although difference add in interest to relationship, similarities increase the chance of relationship success. If there are major differences, partners should first ask, How accepting difference are we? Then, How well do we communicate?
Acceptance and communication skills go a long way toward making a relationship work, no matter how different the partners. Areas in which differences can affect the relationship include values, religion, ethnicity, attitudes toward sexuality and gender roles, socioeconomic status, familiarity with the others culture and interaction with the extended family
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